If one is to find happiness, it is important to be open to the idea of “change”. That is, be open to the idea of changing one’s way of thinking. Without change, one would simply repeat the same negative ways of thinking and not find happiness.
In some sense, there is a “recipe” for happiness, and it’s important to keep experimenting with the recipe till you discover the one that works. This is not too different to recipes concerning food.
Let’s imagine that you decide to try baking and have chosen to make a cake. You find a recipe that, among other things, calls for eight spoons of sugar.
You follow the recipe precisely, and the cake comes out of the oven looking lovely. But soon, when you take your first bite, you realise that the cake is too sweet for your liking.
A few months later, you desire cake again and decide to make the same cake. Now the question is, how much sugar will you use this time? Will you use the same amount of sugar you used last time, or would you reduce the amount of sugar? Since the cake was too sweet the previous time, reducing the sugar you use when you make it again would be sensible. After all, if you made the cake using the same amount of sugar as last time, it would be too sweet again. In other words, the cake recipe needs to be adjusted to improve the cake’s taste.
The same concept applies to how one thinks. Suppose one thinks in a certain way that brings unhappiness; if one keeps thinking that same way, the unhappiness will continue. For happiness, one must work on changing one’s current mental recipe.
You might wonder if it’s possible to change how one thinks. In neuroscience, it’s generally accepted that one’s nervous system can undergo “neuroplasticity.” Neuroplasticity is the brain’s remarkable ability to reorganise itself to form new connections and pathways, resulting in one’s thinking in different ways. So each time you change how you think, your brain undergoes neuroplasticity.
However, “change” requires energy. Suppose one has a big, ugly stone in one’s garden that is spoiling the look of the garden. If one wants one’s garden to look better, one will need to spend energy moving the stone elsewhere. If one doesn’t put energy into it, it will just remain there. Change requires energy, but it is also associated with potential rewards.
Changes don’t always have to be big. One can also make small changes that eventually add up to big changes.
A key aspect of Happy Thinking is the concept of “experiments”. I am, of course, not talking about using test tubes and chemicals to cause explosions in one’s kitchen! Instead, it’s about embracing mental experiments to see which changes work and which do not.
On this website, there are many mind tools that will help one change one’s thinking. One can experiment with the changes to see if they are helpful. After some experimentation, I am sure one will find a suitable recipe for happiness.