A common theme in negative thinking is that, when judging a situation, one imagines only negative possibilities (e.g. imagining that one’s boss is calling one to the office to announce that one has been made redundant). Whereas in reality, there could be positive possibilities as well (e.g., the boss just wanted to discuss a project).
A useful psychological method for these situations is what I call the “other possibilities” method. Quite simply, when judging a situation, think of more than one possibility to explain that situation. That is negative possibilities and positive possibilities.
One day, Paolo sent repeated text messages to a friend with whom he had not communicated for a while. Paolo wanted to rekindle the friendship. However, the friend does not reply that day, and Paolo becomes upset, thinking his friend is angry and ignoring him. As Paolo senses this negative thought, he decides to use the “other possibilities” method.
Paolo follows the “stop-weaken-ignore” steps.
Stop the thought briefly:
He uses his inner voice and tells himself, “Stop”
Look for other possibilities:
He then considers other reasons his friend may not be responding. He thinks the friend might be busy or perhaps has a new phone number. Or there may be something urgent that the friend is dealing with. Thinking about other possibilities makes Paolo feel better.
Ignore the thought:
Paolo ignores the weakened negative thought and carries on with his day, hoping he can contact his friend on a future day.
Negative thoughts thrive on imagination. Thinking of other possibilities weakens the thoughts by prompting more realistic thinking.