Regret is a negative thought that many of us suffer from. Regret is sadness about past bad decisions. For example, we may think about how we could have chosen a different career pathway, bought that house when it was cheap, or maybe not left a loving partner, and so on.
Unfortunately, “time machines”, where one can visit one’s past, exist only in fiction! In reality, there is no way to go back in time and reverse those bad decisions. Since one cannot change the past, there is little point in wasting time on those decisions. Regret about the past can unnecessarily ruin your present.
One of the most toxic statements one can make is “I could have” or “I should have.” For example, “I could have bought this, I should have avoided that scammer, etc.” Such thinking is very wasteful and can bring your mood down.
There is, however, a way of using one’s past helpfully: to tell oneself that going forward, one will try to avoid making the same mistakes that one made in the past. That way, one is converting a negative experience into a positive one. Perhaps one may regret not having visited one’s local park in the past. However, one might be able to convert that into positive by saying that, from now on, “Unlike in the past, I will try to visit the park and other things of interest in my city.”
Another important aspect is to learn to be kind to oneself and be forgiving of one’s past younger self for making bad decisions. If we look into anyone’s past, we will find plenty of times when wrong choices were made.
A good way to think about regret is to imagine a person walking. When walking, does one look forward or backwards? Of course, one looks ahead, as looking back is of little value when it comes to avoiding crashes. Similarly, as you move forward in your life, look ahead, not behind. Do not waste your time regretting things from the past.
When embarking on your journey towards happiness, it’s best to travel light and leave unnecessary luggage behind. One such luggage that you can dispose of is “regret”
